Invocal / Onvical Wars

They’ve been at it again dear diary! First they stole my guitar, then they broke my phone, and then that fucking awful Posie ran me over in her tractor! As you will know I don’t usually like to make a fuss, but I DID nearly DIE. Actually I DID die. I actually DIED. For, like, a little while – you know, like in films. For an hour or something. Pissed around with some grandparents and dead pets then woke up. Or something. Anyway. The fact of the matter is this. Onvical are wankers.

I can’t help but wonder if there is and Onvical mole in Invocal. And whilst I would never point the finger of blame at any one of my band/ farm mates/ best friends in the whole wide world, I can’t help but wonder if definitely it is without a shadow of a doubt Rachel.

I think she has been swapping information on where I will be/ where I may or may not have left things/ the mysteries of science ie how water breaks electrical goods etc in exchange for sequins and feathers from that dreadful whore Racquel .

In other news, we had two lovely gigs at the weekend, one was with our heathen neighbours in The-Godforsaken-Village-of-Blisworth, and the other was at Folk on the Green. Both were very much fun and we were very pleased to be asked to play. However, Helen was a little disappointed as she had misunderstood the nature of the latter event and had bought a new smoking hat and a retail size order of coco pops especially.

Anyway dear Diary, I must dash. I can hear Rachel Morse coding Raquel the whereabouts of the deeds to the Invocal farm.