Dear Diaryyyy
I can only apologise for having neglected you for so long.
Well what happened this time was, *with all the excitement of the release of our new EP, Helen forgot to lock the cake, fudge and mars bar room. Soon after discovering her error I slipped into a diabetic coma, and have only recently awoken. It was Quetiapina who revived me, with some smelling salts and a giant toblerone.
We’ve had a lovely Christmas on the Invocal Farm – aside from a few mishaps (Helen pulled the Christmas tree over onto herself and Sarah accidently flambéd Rachel’s head instead of the Christmas pudding) everything has gone smoothly.
The Northambleton Village Carol Service was a joy to behold, apart from the appearance of ridiculously twattish Onvical (God I hate those stupid girls SO MUCH).
They turned up on some sort of stupid sledge, dressed in some stupid red costumes and stupid white beards, giving presents to children and generally making an absolute nuisance of themselves. You could tell all the villagers just wanted them to fuck off by the way they were clapping and laughing and saying “isn’t it magical?” as if to say “who are these awful paedophiles?”.
The worst one was that fucking awful Posie who took it upon herself to sing the solo of Once In Royal David’s City in the least pleasant key imaginable. For heaven’s sake – the girl is an alto – why oh why does she insist on attempting that hideous upper range??? I HATE HER SO MUCH.
Everyone LOVED the desk tidies I made them. So much so that they have stored them away, only to be used on extra special pen storing occassions. I’m so proud that my gifts have brought such joy and sentimental feeling – especially as they have been crafted by my own fair and very delicately proportioned hands.
In other news, we’ve begun recording our new album for – the songs we have been working on this month are Where The Gotten Go, La La La I’m Not Listening and Guide to Survival 08.
The remaining 5 or 6 will be ready for recording very soon.
Rachel thinks we will also be recording her very own ‘composition’ entitled “I’m Straight, I’m Great, Get Used To It”.
But we won’t be.
Anyway dear Diary. I must go now, but I will be back with more exciting news soon.
Miss Rosie xxx
*I discovered Facebook
