A search for Sarah

Sad news, dear Diary. Sarah has finally gone too far this time, and she’s having to be exiled from the Invocal Farm. I can’t really go into too much detail but I doubt very much if Northambleton residents were in any doubt as to the gravity of her misdemeanor once the army were involved. There is a rumour going around that she is joining Onvical but this is NOT TRUE.

OK???????

So this leaves us to find a replacement singer and instrumentalist. I asked Rachel and Helen to come up with an advert for the NME last night, and they came up with this…

The Perfect Bandmate

Wanted a new bandmember for three adorable farmgirls…
If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, sing lots
Play clarinet, oboe, fiddle or something of that sort

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty (not prettier than us though)
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing Miss Rosie’s songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as your music sisters
Protect us when Miss Rosie hits us

If you won’t scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won’t hide your spectacles
So you can’t see
Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Newsarah
Many thanks
Sincerely,

Helen and Rachel Invocal,
Helen and Rachel Invocal.

Obviously I tore it up and threw it in the fireplace as soon as I saw it – do they have the faintest idea how much an ad that long would cost!?And who on EARTH needs to specify in a classified advertisment that a successful applicant won’t force feed them gruel and caster oil?? I worry about the effect Sarah leaving is having on them dear diary, I really do. They’re being really weird.

Oh I DO hope we find a new band member soon though dear diary, really I do… but WHO? … WHO could it be???

WHO???

WHO????

Who????